There are few biblical institutions more beautiful than marriage. Marriage at its greatest level can be one of the biggest blessing to the life of the believer short of his relationship with Christ. Marriage at its worst can be a source of pain, guilt and bitterness long after it is dissolved. Marriage was intended to convey the relationship of Christ and the Church.

Wives are supposed to allow the husband the role of leadership. The design of marriage is such that the husband is supposed to be following Christ and the wife following the husband and the children the parents. Just like the church which is the bride of Christ follows the lead of her husband, every biblical bride is supposed to follow her own husband. Many people have problems with this but it is a very good design so long as both parties are actually in love with Christ and therefore know how love one another. A woman should not marry a man who she does not respect nor trust with her very life.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Eph 5:22-24

Marriage was suppose to let the world see what it is to have uncompromising, unconditional and unending love. Men are to love their wives to the point that they put their wives before themselves.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Eph 5:28

Marriage was first done by God himself in the garden of Eden.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. Gen 2:21-22

Marriage must be between a man and a woman. The word marry means to join. What God is joining is the body (the man) back with the rib (the woman) that was taken from him. Together, they become whole.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2:23-24

Marriage must be done between two Christians in order to raise up future generations of Godly people.

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Cor 6:14

Marriage is the only way a man and a woman can be sexually intimate with each other and it not be considered a sin.

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Co 7:1-2

There are certain things expected of both the man and the woman to be happily married.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Eph 5:33

It should be noted the many of the things that cause people to divorce would be eliminated if everyone only practiced biblical marriage. Since we are imperfect however, divorce sometimes happens and this is a tragedy on many levels.

Marriage is God's idea and must be recognized by Him in order to be valid.

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:5,6

Valid and Invalid Marriage

Marriage is God's idea and must be recognized by Him in order to be valid. There is no doubt that many today are trying to redefine what biblical marriage is. Some of the questions that are prevalent today are, "is marriage only between two people or is it allowable for a man to have multiple wives?" Another would be, "is marriage only between one man and one woman? Does God recognize same sex marriage?" There are many who recognize that the scripture which tells us that "it is better to marry than to burn" is a warning against sex outside the confines of marriage. There are many who want to prove their commitment and avoid fornication. However, there are also many who do not understand that if marriage is not done under the guidelines that God has instituted, He will not recognize it. An invalid marriage is not a marriage at all. It will only lead to a lifestyle of fornication and / or misery.

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:5,6

With regards to the question of same sex marriage, just one look at the above verse shows us the God prescribes marriage between a man and a woman. In fact, every instance of marriage that the Bible speaks of talks about a man and woman or a husband and a wife. There is no biblical scripture that will illustrate or suggest otherwise! It also tells us "what God has joined together." If God did not put it together then it will not be recognized no matter what man has to say about it. No man can make Him validate it. For instance, same sex marriage can be recognized all over the world but God will always consider the marriage certificate meaningless. There is much more to say about homosexuality so I have written a whole article on it. [ see Homosexuality and Sexual sin.]

Now let's take a look at multiple spouses. I must first point out that there is not one hint of evidence that God upholds a marriage between one woman and multiple men. That would fall in the same category as same sex marriage. That category being of course the “does not exist” category for both teaching and illustration. As far as a man marring multiple women, that is another story entirely. Polygamy is well documented in the Bible and some of God's most beloved Old Testament Patriarchs were polygamists. King David, Abraham, and Jacob, all had multiple wives. Even more astonishing than this, Solomon, the richest and wisest king, had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. 4For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father. 1Kings 11:3,4

In objection to this, many argue that even though they did these things, God did not allow it. They were in sin. I would have you to know that in all of scripture, I have not found one chastisement or disciplinary action taken by God on any of these men based on their number of wives. As you can see above, God was displeased with Solomon because he let his wives turn his heart away from Him. God was upset because Solomon's heart changed not because of his number of wives. But if that is not proof enough, there is an incident in the Bible in which God is upset with David for killing a man to marry his wife. God sends the prophet Nathan to scold him for it.

And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; 8And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wivesinto thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things. 2 Samuel 12:8

It is beyond debate that our holy God does not sin yet it is God who gives David multiple wives. What this illustrates to us is that God has multiple wills and because He knows that man is an imperfect creature, He makes allowances for Him. In other words, the Bible teaches that God has a perfect will, a good will and an acceptable will. [see The freewill of Man ]

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2

This principle is found throughout all of scripture yet many Christians overlook it. For instance, Paul teaches that it is good to be single rather than be married.

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 1 Corinthians 7:7,8

Here the Apostle Paul, a single man, wished everyone was single like himself but he realizes that everyone does not have the gift of celibacy. But it is better to marry than to be in lust all of the time.

But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Corinthians 7:8

Both conditions are in God's will but one condition may be better than the other depending on ones spiritual gift. If one can not contain from indulging in sex outside of the confines of marriage it is better to marry and if one can remain celibate, then it is better not to marry.

Conclusion

I see no command in the Bible to marry multiple wives. I also see no punishment or rebuke for those who do. For the most part, the Bible is silent on the issue. It is beyond argument that polygamy was allowed. It is also beyond argument that the Bible presents monogamy as God’s ideal for marriage. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. ” Note the consistent use of the singular that is represented each time marriage is presented by the teaching of scripture.

Since this is the case, can we as American men marry multiple women? Yes. As long as your state or governing authority allows it and you can find women who will do it. (I do not count my wife among that number!) God has seemed to leave that issue up to the culture of the people. In America, by and large, it is illegal. Not marrying multiple women does not violate any command of God because God has not commanded it. However, multiple wives does violate the law of the land and God does command Christians to follow that.

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. 2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. Romans 13:1,2

The above scripture basically means that God supports the idea of a governing authority. God is a God of order and Christians are commanded to obey the laws of the land as long as they do not conflict with the laws of God.

Divorce or as the KJV of the Bible puts it, "the putting away" of ones spouse is one of Satan's greatest attacks against the church. If two Christians suffer a divorce it in no way implies that they themselves are failures, only that in this particular instance, they have failed to complete the illustration of never ending love that marriage was meant to convey.

Although it is clear that God doesn't like it when we get divorced, it is also clear that under certain circumstances it is allowed. One reason given is the evil hearts of man. God knows that if a man is forced to be with a woman then he may become abusive. Even worse, some may even resort to murder in order to break the marriage bond.

39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 1 Cor 7:39

Because of this, God allows divorce, but only if it's done officially and by writing.

31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: Matt 5:31

This however was not the original intent of marriage.

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. Matt 19:7,8

However, if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave anyway, the Christian should let them. The Christian is guiltless.

15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1 Cor 7:15

Many questions may come to mind. What if the unbeliever wants to stay but is physically or mentally abusive? What if they are sexually abusive to the children? What if they are engaged in substance abuse? Even worse, what if the spouse is a confessed Christian and they are doing these things?

So, when is divorced recognized by God? It must involve one important factor, fornication.

Adultery and Fornication
God's plan for sex is that married people share themselves with each other only. Any other form of sexual relationship is sinful.
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Heb 13:4

In fact, the avoidance of sexual sin is a very big reason for wanting to be married in the first place.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Cor 7:2-3,8-9

Adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse. Fornication is an unmarried person having sex period. But it gets deeper than their common accepted meanings.
Notice that when scripture gives a biblical reason for divorce it only mentions fornication and not adultery! In fact, it says that unbilblical divorce causes the adultery.
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

13 And after all that is come upon us for our evil deeds, and for our great trespass, seeing that thou our God hast punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and hast given us such deliverance as this; 14 Should we again break thy commandments, and join in affinity with the people of these abominations? wouldest not thou be angry with us till thou hadst consumed us, so that there should be no remnant nor escaping? Ezra 9:13,14

Realizing that idolatry was worthy of death and fearing that God would destroy them. They came up with a solution.

And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel.

11Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives. 12Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do. Ezra 10:10-12

And divorce them they did.

God did not destroy them. Why not? The three wills of God. Idolatry is never in the will of God, but divorce, under the right circumstances, although not in His perfect will, may be allowed in His permissive.

for further study on divorce and remarriage: http://thefaithfulword.org/divbkpageone.html#c6